The Wife of Alex Kidd

Super Princess Peach

2008-06-12T13:09:00.002+01:00

Probably the cutest Mario related platform I have ever played (excluding Yoshi's Island), a short review is available from Fidget here.

Oh, Smeg!

2008-06-06T17:28:00.002+01:00

If you are as huge a Red Dwarf fan as I am, you should check out my 10 favourite episodes as displayed on Den of Geek.

Photography

2008-05-27T23:40:00.004+01:00

Hidden within the disturbing depths of my weird and wonderful interests (Tudor history books or Death Note cosplay anyone?!) lies a love of visuals, colour and anything that stands still. I am no photographer, but I enjoy sharing pretty things.

London

2008-05-21T19:20:00.009+01:00

My first memory of London came courtesy of a Tourette's sufferer bawling "CHEESE" a few feet behind me, as I struggled out of a strange tube station named Walthamstow Central with an over-packed suitcase, dubious face and '999' poised on my mobile phone. My second memory was WiFi.

The Sleeping Beauty Motel, chosen by myself because it sounded like a Disney film and was cheap as chips, turned out to offer free WiFi to all its inhabitants, as well as harbouring an anomalous lockable fridge and wide open window that would make The HASAW Act 1974 weep in despair.

The one surprising feature of the motel (with exception of the grand total of four mirrors I counted in my room) was the Internet access. In fact I am using it now as I write this very blog, whilst loading BBC iPlayer and pretending to understand a grossly huge Wikipedia article on King Henry VIII (what can I say, I'm a geek).

The point of this blog is...well, I haven't decided yet. I think the lesson is that free WiFi is fantastic. Oh, and also never trust a hotel with no bath plugs.

MicroMart

2008-04-12T15:50:00.004+01:00

My first published review is available now in MicroMart, issue 999. I love this magazine; the articles are in depth, accurate and interesting. And what's more, it retails at a mere £2, well worth every penny.

Animal Crossing -- Wild World

2008-04-11T16:58:00.004+01:00

Animal Crossing is a fantastic franchise. The DS version, Wild World, has been available for a while now. However due to my retro-favouring tendencies, I am only just getting around to the delights the pocket-size gem has to offer.

Take a look at my review of said game at Fidget, Scotland's up-and-coming computer games rendezvous. Click here to read.

When Bebo Goes Bad

2008-04-08T16:02:00.012+01:00

“I dropped a box of eggs off the top shelf onto a customer. Luckily my badge fell off and he never seen my name, score.”

"Score" indeed, as quoted by the immature twonk who had the indecency to post the above publicly on a now deceased Bebo group dedicated to Tesco staff in my local area. The recent news article concerning this presented not only in the Wishaw Press but national tabloid The Sun has hit home the growing trend of careless youngsters posting various tidbits of their working life to social networking groups.

As a result of similar situations, companies are wising up to the slapdash habits of its employees. You can be guaranteed a brand spanking new clause in your contract forbidding you to disclose unsuitable or confidential work-related information on the Internet, something that can't come quickly enough for the unfortunate yolk-covered customers of Tesco Belhaven. Has it put me off shopping there? You bet it has. Then again I was already put off by its huge imposing presence, sucking away the smaller supermarkets and livelihood of an already deteriorating town centre, not to mention the small number of aforementioned staff who are quite obviously dedicated to customer service. It is fair to say I am over-reacting; then again if I had ever seen a derogatory comment directed at me, it wouldn't be long before I was the one egg-pelting the shiny new windows of the supermarket elite.

Lets just hope these mindless fools are dismissed for their mindless pap, replaced by people who actually know that "every little helps".

A similar rant has been posted via the Destructoid community.

Den of Geek

2008-03-31T11:27:00.003+01:00

If you have not yet embraced the Mecca of geek, then you should. Right now. Den of Geek is a fantastic testament to all things awesome, from television shows to videogames, and a lot more in between. It makes for fantastic reading, there's something for everyone. Bookmark and enjoy :D

Is this "The One"?

2008-03-04T09:45:00.011Z

For those oblivious to the recent e-hype developing frenzied opinion on forums, blogs and technology sites, where have you been?!?
The Elonex One (shown above) is the main talk of this frenzied opinion, and the latest in a string of budget-priced sub-notebooks to be debuted, with primary interest in the NLI programme. So what makes the One stand out from the EeePC, OLPC, Cloudbook and PixelQi? Originally presented at the Education Show in Birmingham (and captured in action by the BBC), the One is a "sub £100 laptop that gives wireless access to the Internet, e-mail, word processing and spreadsheets", according to their press release. It is this "sub-£100" that is getting most people excited, as none of the above have so far had a price tag to match.

For techno-geeks, the official specs (taken from the Elonex website) are: 7" TFT LCD display; 800x480pix Widescreen, W22cm x L15cm x H3cm; Weight 0.95kg; 300MHz Processor; 128MB memory; Linux OS (Linos 2.6.21); 1GB internal storage; Wi-Fi 802.11b/g; Ethernet, 2x USB 2.0 ports; audio in and headphone jacks; approx 4 hours battery usage.

The weight, size and durability (tough outer shell, splashproofkeyboard) compliment the target audience of not just children and the education sector in general, but "adult learners, business users, people who are constantly mobile, elderly people and first time Internet users".

A distinguishable feature concerns the "removable keyboard" which allows a tablet-style usage, albeit without a touchscreen mode which would have inevitably driven up the price. A mouse emulator is located on the back of the screen (along with most of the other components, thus achieving the 'top-heavy' status), to allow navigation in this case.

The main problems arising for the Elonex One have more to do with aesthetic looks than actual performance, if most comments are to be believed. Indeed there is no shortage of web surfers getting their knickers in a twist over the top-heavy design and "fugly looks" (to quote a few forum responses). This is when I start to boil a little and get tetchy; you can bet your school-boots most of the individuals commenting on the design side of things are not over-spoiled children huffing over what may be this years birthday present. In fact, a lot (of males, I can only presume) are having more fun declaring a war between Blonde vs Brunette, comparing the two models who are photographed advertising the Asus and Elonex notebooks respectively. I can respect the good humour behind it, but really, do these people forget that female geekery exists too? Trying to find a legitimate comment concerning the specs, future plans or accessories proved the needle-in-a-haystack theory yet again, as I waded through masses of "no SHE'S more hot" tripe. Please remember that female geekery does exist!

Although the One bravely states its place in society as 'more than a device for children', one must remember it's primary sector is aimed at...well, primary children! And conversely to what those fashion-conscious business travelers and no-life geeks may think as they scoff at looks which apparently would put them off displaying said goods on public transport (as if the general public really care what gadgetry they submit on a train), I think the portability, price and convenience should over-ride any false conceptions that a less-than-traditional design is automatically an eyesore. Presumably these thoughts are similar to the sorts of no-brain numbskulls I encounter frequently who ask silly questions such as "what's that stud under your lip?" and "did it hurt to have a huge injection followed by a huge silver bar plunged through your tongue?". Just because they cannot understand the beauty behind a piercing does not mean I enjoy the usual mass-fashion that society seems to thrive on, and the same views stand for technology.

However, for all who criticise and praise the Elonex One, only time will tell whether the goods live up to the hype. Of course, I've already placed a deposit on mine - at £99, you can't really go far wrong for a device which is not only going to save my main notebook from scratches and bumps, but rescue my shoulders from the heavy strain of carrying a 15.4" widescreen on my poor back.

The Elonex One is due for release in June 2008, so expect a first-hand review upon delivery. And to those who are still in doubt, remember: don't judge a laptop by its cover!

Social Networking

2008-02-29T09:20:00.004Z

My first blog for lifestyle blogging site CollegeCandy.com has just been published. It concerns the influential side of social networking websites, and is available to view by clicking here.

Addition

2008-02-15T20:31:00.003Z

Although not gaming related, I'm about to start writing articles for American-based lifestyle website CollegeCandy, on issues that I interest me (that'll be sex then). On a more serious note, I've always been interested in sharing my views on relationships, men, women, sex, peer pressure, and all those other exciting things associated with youth.

Drivin' me round the bend.

2008-02-14T17:56:00.003Z

Hard Drivin’. Sadly not the title of the latest top-shelf provocative soft-porn title, but a 90's racing simulator, as reviewed on the Sega Mega Drive. Despite lack of naked torso, it did make me want to moan ‘ooh ooh OOOH!’, unfortunately not in a good way.

The title screen looks promising. One can almost envision scenes of fast-paced, adrenaline-junkie madness. Crisp air, full-throttle.

Or maybe not, I conclude, as I am smacked metaphorically in the face with graphics that would make even the ZX Spectrum weep into its rubber keys.

Upon initial play I was more than prepared for simplicity beats complexity. However, simplicity in this case cannot justify the terrible truth of this title: this is a very monotonous game. This is a very monotonous game. Very monoton....yes. You get the idea.

After what seemed like years (I over-dramatise; it was probably only a couple. Of days.) I finally couldn’t take any more and muted the television for fear of hearing the DrrRRR, GDRrrRRR engine roar in my head for ALL ETERNITY (a la Bananaphone style).

Not only is the soundtrack non-existent and sound FX dangerous for human consumption, but the actual race track itself would send even a screaming child to sleep within minutes. I can almost swear I sat slumped on my sofa at one point, eyes drooping, mouth drooling and the “Up” directional pad wedged firmly in place by my left finger. Not the most inviting prospect had my boyfriend (if I had one) walked in on me.

I can understand the limitations of a console, and would much rather spend hours perfecting my mastery of games such as Skool Daze and Jupiter Lander than fall asleep playing new releases on an Xbox 360 that appear to have more movie-esque footage than actual gameplay. I can understand these limitations, but fail to see how such a shoddy title could be released for a console that became renowned for great titles such as California Games, Golden Axe, and of course Sonic the Hedgehog 2.

I’m not saying I could produce a game that would fare any better – my one ditch attempt at programming beyond my preference of BASIC involved the use of Visual Basic and finished up in a bright pink GUI .exe file that printed amusing swear words at the click of a command box – but I still vouch that this title should be swerved with aggressive avoidance.

It is indeed conclusive that in the Grand Prix of rubbish games, Hard Drivin’ surely gets the chequered flag.

McDonalds can kiss my ASA

2008-01-17T22:31:00.000Z

A few short sentences I put together involving a certain well-known food chain and advertising standards agency is currently drumming up some amusing debate here.

Got yer receipt there?

2007-12-30T21:38:00.000Z

Now featuring on donkeygamer.com and discussed via the Destructoid community blogs

Paper is a fantastic invention. Paper is used in books, bags and boxes. Paper is used for art. Paper is money. Paper is origami. Paper is used to contain still fruit drinks and to wrap fish suppers.

Paper is also biodegradable and is often used by retail establishments the world over as proof of purchase.

Unfortunately paper is also highly under-rated. It can often fulfill these wonderful deeds, yet is shunned with a disgraceful par of respect akin to that of our current nonentity love affair(s) (or is that just me?).

I can't say I'm a huge fan of a nostril-flaring equation charging plastic-bag-first into my designated till area, thrusting a video game down my tits and grunting urgently before my face like a badly constructed porno metaphor.

Aforementioned nostril-flaring will inevitably subside, followed by a boom of 'WANT MA MONEY BAK'. Yes, Sir, all right Sir. Now, do you have your receipt Sir? Carrying on the slight-porno theme, there is what one might call a "pregnant pause" between thought and answer to this simple question.

I have heard various responses in my time: "was given as a gift/lost it/threw it out/can't you look it up on the loyalty card?" and my personal favourite "you didn't give me one".

I cannot stand customers who blatantly lie. I like to nickname them 'cuntomers', and believe that most have never worked in a retail environment in their life. White lies I can deal with, but fibs which tie blame directly to a member of staff makes me wonder how people can be so heartless. Most of the time I know they are simply not thinking, but given my general think to talk ratio, I fail to understand wht most people can't copy my example, think before they speak, and keep their slobbering chops closed.

Sadly jaws tend to gnash violently, even although most of the time the conclusion is a simplistic "Well, how do we know you bought it from here if you have no proof?"

And a note to consumers: I do not have a fucking photobank memory. I can't recall your ugly mug from my mind almost instantaneously, even if you reassuringly pat me on the arm, look me in the eye and insist "You served me dear". Wank off.

I often witness situations like these disintegrate into metaphoric political debates. Coming to a suitable agreement - or alternatively sticking the finger up and saying "bite me" - can take anything up to fifteen minutes of my working time. That's fifteen minutes I could have been tidying. Or pricing. Or eating, sleeping, drinking or wanking. That's fifteen minutes of my life that I won't get back, and that sucks.

Individuals with an honest nature don't trouble me: they can have my fifteen minutes, and I will gladly mend any misunderstandings. But face me with a coward spouting the 'but-I-haven't-even-taken-it-out-the-box' drivel, as I stand grimacing at the food/scratch/DNA/unknown substance coating the product, and I'll most likely explode violently over the disgruntled customer (and hopefully the disgruntled customers unwanted purchase too).

It doesn't take a great effort to hang on to a receipt. It is infuriating to imagine the countless personal bags of the population, stuffed with rubbish and bottom-lined by old receipts steadily turning to a papier mache mould.

Receipts are - in my opinion at least - the backbone of retail society. Without one, your unwanted PES 2008 (of which I am duly informed you have two copies of, bought by both your auntie and your granny) is of no use to anyone. So please, give us a break and save us the hassle of pointless arguing, rehearsing store policy, and having to spend un-natural periods of time staring at your mugshot until you finally get the hint. Please, consumers, sponsor a till monkey today, and hang on to your proof of purchase.

Alex Kidd

2007-12-20T10:24:00.000Z

My husband and active sexual partner Alex Kidd has been reviewed by my deranged self for donkeygamer.com during his vast escapade in Miracle World. Enjoy!

Wii Don't Care...

2007-12-19T22:09:00.000Z

..or at least ii don't anyway. I'm sick of worse-than-a-99p-double-DVD-disc-set tripe like this: stupid morons trying to cash-in on the most over-hyped console to date that wi(i)ll "go down in history", at least according to todays Metro.

Bring on some smart-arse from Ye Olde Yorkshire. Ho ho ho, let's publish an e-bay listing for no less than £499,000, and say Hey, lets set a World Record for the Most Arrogant Twat To Sell A Console For Stupid Money Just To Gain Pathetic Media Attention And Make £499,000+ Whilst In the Process, and a simultaneous World Record for the Stupidest Numpty To Buy It.

I often wonder if everyone has lost their braincells, when something like this low-end buzz becomes a 'big deal'. Then again ever since I was URL'd the Numa-Yei kid, I have realised that humans really are the dumbest creatures ever to pollute Planet Earth. No wonder intelligent life doesn't bother invading us; we're about as bright as the average city becomes during a mass blackout.

Then again, I wave my hands at my own one-sided argument. I wouldn't care so much if 1) The proceeds of this pointless 'record' were given to charity, or some equally greater good and 2) The winning bidder recognised this, and paid up accordingly.

But what do I think, based on the harsh reality of human nature? Pffft, I believe nothing. I believe the I believe the winning sod will stick the proverbial finger up at one unhappy seller, all will fall apart and be forgotten by the mass publicia, and this time next week we'll all be Googling for some moron that can recite the German alphabet - BACKWARDS - whilst naked, hiccuping, and painted purple.

Suicide Express (Commodore 64) Review

2007-12-17T15:57:00.000Z

Suicide Express is one of those games that probably shouldn’t scare you, but does. Forget tales of what you used to get up to behind the school bike sheds; fear of a cassette tape should remain the prime secret you don’t want to drunkenly blurt to friends at social gatherings.

Even the greeting given by the emo-friendly title sends a shiver down the spine. You can thank the ever-wonderful SID chip for that - it’s distinctive sounds of rich eerie sawtooth melodies sent this reviewer sucking her thumb behind a cushion.

The gameplay itself is slightly tricky. The main objective is to guide your train through increasingly complex birdseye-view tracks that, failing regular eye rests, will have your head spinning.

For an 8-bit title the graphics are visually acceptable (if occasionally confusing). The action is fast. Very fast, in fact. One moment of lost concentration will see your efforts dashed in a colourful detonation of pixelated anger. Despite this, the player has a niggling urge to continue. Giving up is not an option here. This game is highly addictive.

The train itself is controlled by either joystick or keyboard. I personally found the former more intuitive, and in no time found myself track-dodging, enemy-shooting (this is one pimped-up train) and racing at high speed down the railway line, as SID accompanied me with the very same urgent quavered melody I had previewed from the menu screen.

Although Suicide Express would be of little interest to most modern gamers who are fed on a high-fibre diet of short epic movies and graphics-rich storylines, those who appreciate the original concept of ‘videogaming’ will rejoice at its addictive simplistic nature.

Alas, despite all skill and said addictive joystick-throttling, all journeys must terminate. My personal journey happened to do so after a particularly grueling chase, with an all-mighty thwacking crash of a finale.

But just when you’re counting the dead and fooled into believing that the bloodcurdling bad dream has ended in a crescendo of white noise, you jump right behind the couch once more.

And let me tell you why: Suicide Express was widely known to be one of the first games to include a synthesized voice, in this case used to read the defeated users end game score. Yes, it was indeed this audio aid that sent me helplessly fleeing the telly screen once more. Maybe it’s just me, but I found its wavering robotic readout almost terrifying. Self admittedly I’m the sort to be scared of my own shadow, but the fact that a game was actually talking to me still gives me the slight shakes.

This recent revisit to Suicide Express for the purpose of review was something I thought I could handle sensibly. After all, I’m an adult, for goodness sake. But d’you know, despite constant reassurances of “but it’s just a game!”, I think I’ll play it safe and take the bus to work tomorrow...

You can't make a pun out of DS

2007-12-17T11:00:00.000Z

No sooner than the Nintendo Wii bares its magical arse on UK store shelves once more, than the DS disappears mysteriously from what appears to be the face of the planet. Where are all these consoles rendezvousing? Stripper clubs, maybe. Or maybe they're quaking in their chemical-filled plastic shells because Greenpeace have waggled their green finger at them for being...well, chemical-filled plastic shells, I suppose.

Lucky for their delicately-finished casing then that customers don't really seem to have noticed. Speaking of which, I wish you would make up your fudging mind you bunch-of-bananas consumers. Do you want a DS or do you want a Wii? Or do you want a kick up the hoo-haa because you can't ever make your mind up? I'll administer all but the first two, free of sodding charge.

The days are getting longer, ladies and gentlemen, and I'm sick. I'm sick of long nights and even longer days. I'm sick of Christmas songs that make me want to beg my practitioner to book me in for an ear-decapitation. I'm sick of seeing cut-price advent calendars and being tempted to buy them and sit on my couch in a depressed manner, scoffing them all in one sitting. And most of all, I'm sick of the false hype, sold out products and price changing, because my nails are starting to break.

Way-hey!

2007-12-14T15:38:00.000Z

I've just been granted permission to start submitting articles for the classic gaming section of gamespy.com and also retroscene.co.uk

Recently my profile has been added to the donkeygamer team, complete with Miracle World backdrop. My first article is UK-based rantage on the current Wii shortage. Bizarrely this seems to be surpassed by way of a ruddy DS shortage (make up your mind public, for f**ks sake). My second article will be undoubtedly Alex Kidd-esque and should be featured some time next week.

Wii'd Off

2007-12-10T18:08:00.000Z

[This article has been recently published on donkeygamer]

I'm sorry Nintendo, but I don't like you.

Currently, Nintendo stand responsible for over 90% of the headaches I've experienced this month. And believe me, I'm not one to get headaches.
That little £180 white box is currently pounding at some inner region of my brainal area, fueled by Christmas and maintained by annoyingly chirpy parents with their crumpled Christmas lists, written by their surprisingly demanding younglings. Playing Santa must be difficult, I sympathise, but, by goodness, being Santa's Little Helper should come with a few health warnings of its own.

At this particular moment in time, during the frantic, in my opinion utterly pointless run up to the big Two-Five, one can't help but notice that the most pressing question on lips, down phonelines, and yes, even one of the most searched-for products on the Internet this week (at least, according to Spannerworks.com), is this alternative next-gen games console.

You have to hand it to Nintendo, they've done a spanking grand job in hyping up their console to the high heavens for the second year running. In fact, there's so much buzz that Nintendo have decided to pull their UK advertising. They're clever sods, and know fine well that not only is demand is far greater than current production can keep up with, but understand that announcing advert cuts to the media will result in even more media hype! Which will thus result in even more attention being generated toward the company. Honestly, if Nintendo were an average functioning human being fed humble pie, quite surely they would have burst at the seams by now.

In retaliation, consumers are looking for alternative gadgetry to display under the tree, and most are pointing their purses in the direction of the hand-held Nintendo DS console, in order to sooth their heartbroken bairns during the Yule Tide season. And now even stocks of DS's are dwindling, with many shops displaying "Due to overwhelming demand.....no DS consoles are currently in stock" signs, to shoo the wild mass of general public from congregating, instigating protest marches, firebombing games stores, etc.

I'm not really sure how much more I or my fellow co-workers can take of the constant and hopeless demand shown by the mass elite of Central Scotland.
Queries like "I know this is a stupid question, but you wouldn't happen to have any Wii's in stock, would you?", are asked at least fifty-four times on a daily basis.
Now, come on general public; you've already done yourself a favour. If you think your question is likely to be stupid, most likely it is, and you should refrain from asking in the first place. Or, better still, offer me an aspirin first.
Aside from a tight smile and mutterings of a thanks-you-are-of-absolutely-no-help-at-all demeanor, the next most common follow up to my generic response of "No, piss off" is usually "So...when do you think you'll have your next delivery?", as if sudden sweet-talk will coax me into passing on phantom information which, by the way, I DON'T POSSES. The best response, I have found, is to smile sickly and chant "My psychic abilities aren't working today. Next please?"

Not to sound overly mean - which I probably do - Christmas cheer and I appear to operate on completely different wavelengths. Not because I'm a wholly selfish sod, you understand (I am, but only partially), but because I simply find Christmas to be repetitive, a complete farce, a monotonous novelty-driven scheme in which retail fat-cats enter the bitter cliche, jacking up prices to staggering proportions, and emerging triumphant, patting their fat bulging wallets satisfyingly.

Gone is the notion that an orange in your stalking is to be valued, and here arrives the twenty-first century arrogance of youth, which dictates that if little miss X and young mister Y do not receive their Slim and Lite PSP on the festive day, blood will boil, parents will anger, and huge huge trouble can - and indeed will - ensue.

Unfortunately for myself and the rest of the hard-working individuals at game stores across the nation, most of this huge huge trouble is aimed squarely at us, the sales assistants. Stuff Call of Duty 4, we are the true front line, fighting for a bit of peace and quiet, defending nasty blows of verbal abuse and words of ignorance, pleading, and the occasional expletive.

There's a lot more to be said about the state of society (but don't worry, I've almost finished). Most importantly, I would urge all you hard-working individuals to stop for a moment, and consider exactly why you shell out wads of hard-earned cash (or otherwise) on over-priced crap, most of which will either never see the light of day, or worse still, takes at least six AA batteries to even function in the first place.
Advice like this coming from a twenty year old with a bad haircut may sound odd, but I believe that nowadays, in the midst of a generation of spoiled children and both retail and peer pressure, that maybe it's time to step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

I wouldn't consider myself religious in any way, but I can recognise the basic fundamentals that Christmas once stood for: kindness, appreciation, a time to reflect and a time to look forward. Somewhere along the line, I think we got lost.

But as December 25th approaches evermore, I sigh inwardly, and realise that no-one really gives a shit about good moral values any more, and I thank the baby Jesus, who was born on Christmas day, that I get a 10% discount on console hardware, because my mum quite fancies a DS for Christmas...

Footnote: For those who are interested, the subject matter can be discussed at the Retro Gamer forums here

Public Transport

2007-08-18T17:05:00.000+01:00

The first train leaving from Wishaw to Glasgow on a Sunday is at 1030 hours. I know this because I just looked it up and gawped copious amounts of disbelief aimed at the narrow-minded typical-small-village stereotyping successfully achieved by fat-cats in large suits with large BMWs.

And so I pose the question, How do I get to work on a Sunday? At least, not without leaving at least another hour early and head to Motherwell instead (on top of the extra hour I already do), to reach a city which is, funnily enough, a mere thirty minute drive!

I am really sick of Government bodies telling us to "use public transport", "save the o-zone layer" and suchlike. What about more rural areas, like Overtown and Wishaw? Why is it that despite the fact both bus and rail companies are operated by First, they don't seem to have any interlinking facilities whatsoever? Not only are the buses at the current moment sporadic and unreliable - albeit they have just taken over from Hutchison - but timings are all over the place with regards to bus/railway interlinking.

I have no idea what the hell goes through the mind of someone when they decide the first train on a Sunday should run at half past ten; maybe they think that everyone in small towns sleep all morning?

I think the worst thing is knowing that I can't make a difference. Not myself. And it doesn't matter how many people read this and agree with me, or how many of my friends appreciate my musings, or how many old women I hear grumbling at bus stops, none of us will do a thing about it. Sure, we might have a 'crazy' moment and write a large essay-style rant to First Group, we might even talk to some useless Member of Parliament and pathetically wait for their monotonous general we-sympathise-with-you-but response that so many of us have come to accept with customer service e-mails nowadays, however it won't make a blind bit of difference. The buses will continue to advertise "AT LEAST every 10 minutes" but you'll find yourself waiting double and checking up on your "I Can Tell the Time" pre-school book just to make sure you aren't imagining things, and the trains will continue to be absolute pap (although they are generally on time, lets give them at least one point for that). Head Offices will continue to command exactly when we can travel, MPs will continue to talk far too much, and I will continue to sit here, in a quiet rage, pissed off because I want to change the world, but I can't.

The state of the Earth, and my lunch.

2007-08-12T15:38:00.000+01:00

Rambles occur mostly in the afternoon, my extensive research has concluded. They are also more likely to occur when 'negative energies' are present, for example broken lightswitch/keyboard/laptop.

As a result, my portfolio hasn't budged for a good while. I lost a lot of work when my laptop decided to commit suicide (again), however luckily I have salvaged a lot from various sources. Lesson: buy an external hard drive.

In other news, I highly recommend the Personal Computer magazine Micro Mart. There are some very thought-provoking articles (not to mention the personal favourite, 'Send us your photos of Windows crashing in public places' section).

I have also been reading up on the much discussed price of the PS3, as well as Microsoft and their "3-5% faulty X-Box 360 returns" figures. But I will refrain from such M$ slag-a-thons (for the moment anyway).

In conclusion, I would suggest this: buy a Commodore.